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i'm a fuckin' tomboy. how did i discover this? i went out of town and acted a damn fool. some man touched me on my coochie in a mosh pit and i elbowed him in the face, then told him to lift me up so i could crowd surf. he did. then the m#therfu#ckers dropped me right as the lights went out. the performance was over, and i couldn't have been happier. all the boys around turned to ask me if i was okay. i mumbled "yes" with my eyes closed. cause if i had spoken anything more audible than a whisper, i sensed/imagined that the high i got from hearing o.f. live again would have been rushed out of my body, not to be regained, forever. nolis got my number while the crowd scattered. the man who lifted me told him i was awesome. he was ignored. nolis and i hugged. i kissed him on the cheek (hadn't seen him since '09), then ran over to see nate. he picked me up and carried me out of fader's fort. we looked like newly weds, and i chanted "fuck the police! muthafuck the police!!!" still all sweaty. random....
I thought I was exaggerating at first, calling my self a Tomboy. But realizing this has actually been quite a discovery for me. I made a list to prove it; reviewed it a few times to be sure. Now there's no doubt in my mind that I am one: a girl who enjoys rough, noisy activities traditionally associated with boys. A romping girl; a hoiden (webster's online dictionary, 2011).
[Dunkin' Donuts post Critical Mass, Oct 2009]
I like comic books. I understand The Watchmen (a guy once told me that my interpretation of it made him feel like I was his dream come true). I ride fixie. I love aerospokes (they make my mouth drool) and adore street art. I don't like sports but I'd love to play dodge ball. I have coupons to paint balling. I mosh in pits of wolf gang (look for me at 3:52). I drink cans of beer and crush them when they're empty. I like kung-fu movies (I also want to practice it). I loath sneakers, but covet pairs of Jordans' (especially Spizikes). I travel by myself (sometimes to foreign countries) and sleep with makeshift weapons in hostel beds. I roll my own cigarettes, cuss at the breakfast table, and laugh at farts. I wrestle my little brother. I wear dirty socks. I don't snuggle after sex. And I would rather listen to Ghostface Killah than Beyoncé (but that's just for obvious reasons).
How did I not notice this before, you ask? Honestly. I have no idea. To think that I've overlooked this key element of my personality for so long, is a misfortune that truly bewilders me.
In retrospect, me being a "tomboy" has had a profound effect on my love life and romantically charged relationships. No wonder it was so difficult for me to open up to men. I was too tough for that shit. I didn't really flirt much either. I didn't know how to. I still don't. Instead, I just make a joke out of everything, hoping that my unconventional ways of mate calling will inspire warm feelings in my chosen one's heart. But it's unlikely that will work. It never did. Hell...I'm better off getting a book.
In retrospect, me being a "tomboy" has had a profound effect on my love life and romantically charged relationships. No wonder it was so difficult for me to open up to men. I was too tough for that shit. I didn't really flirt much either. I didn't know how to. I still don't. Instead, I just make a joke out of everything, hoping that my unconventional ways of mate calling will inspire warm feelings in my chosen one's heart. But it's unlikely that will work. It never did. Hell...I'm better off getting a book.
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